What’s ‘The Secret’ to success? Donald Trump and Norman Vincent Peale might be able to tell you.

When this book and movie came out, I was first concerned, then appalled, by the number of friends I knew who were sucked into its whirlpool of self indulgence and greed.

I spoke with my friend Elmer Green (he and his wife were the founders of biofeedback therapy), and he told me this stuff was “old hat.” He and his wife, Alyce, had dealt with this idea in the mid-20th century after the publication of yet another version of this concept was published. They had shared the same worries. That book came out in 1937 and was called “Think and Grow Rich.”

What concerns me is not whether this approach works. It actually does work. If you follow the steps outlined in these books and are guided by their principles, you can — if you practice correctly and long enough — get almost any thing you want.

This is a terrible idea.

First, it is selfish. None of these books talk about our responsibility as members of a society and of a planet with limited resources. They promote unbridled greed with slick justifications. Worries about pollution (“The Secret” came out when Hummers and other giant, gas-guzzling vehicles were in fashion) and concerns about taking resources from others are just “stinkin’ thinkin’.” The faulty assumption is that we can all have everything we want without regard for anyone else’s needs, finite resources or the health of our sacred planet.

This philosophy blames people personally for everything that happens to them. Diagnosed with cancer? You must have been thinking negatively. Got food poisoning at your favorite restaurant? It wasn’t the broken refrigerator but you who failed in some way. Born with a disease of some kind? That was also bad thinking on your part, perhaps in the womb.

I was dismayed by the number of people I met in my bodywork therapy office who felt at fault for things they had no way of controlling. Being an employee at a company that closed. Being a passenger in an airplane crash. And so on. Of course, there are choices we make and things we do that influence what happens to us, but to believe that our own actions contribute 100% is destructive magical thinking.

Finally, this philosophy promotes the false idea that things can make you happy.

If I had seen that pay off, even once, I could understand why people may want to try. But getting everything you think you want doesn’t make you happy — at least not anyone I have met. I’m not talking about the basics of food, shelter and clothing. If you lack basic needs and get them, you will be happier. That is a given. But it is not clear from current research that once you have achieved a solid foundation having more will make you happier or give you greater purpose or well-being.

These books promise you not just material things but also fame, power and reputation. In my experience, attainment of these will likewise not make you happy. Have you ever met someone resting in genuine wellbeing based on material wealth or reputation?

It is fine to have those things or not. The problem begins if our basic wellbeing is tied to them.

Look to President Donald Trump. He is one of the most successful proponents of “The Secret” I have ever seen. Trump’s minister was Norman Vincent Peale — from childhood until Peale’s 1993 death. The clergyman taught an early version of the Prosperity Gospel, a kissing cousin to “The Secret” dressed up in ecclesiastical robes. Trump took those teachings to heart. He rocks them hard. And he wins. And wins and wins and wins.

People are infuriated by Trump’s denial of facts and insistence on his reality, or alternate facts as they have been called. He is not denying facts. In his mind, he is practicing the power of positive thinking. Willing what he wants to be true. And it works, at least sort of. Trump continues to get everything he wants over and over again — at least sort of.

A central premise of the Secret is every person for themselves. If others have problems because of your actions, that is their problem, not yours. Each person for themselves. But I ask you, despite Trump’s continued assertion that he gives himself an A+ in everything, does he look happy to you? Would you aspire to “win” like him?

The ideas contained in these types of books will not bring you happiness. They may well harm you, your family and the world around you.

My friends were quite upset when I voiced my concerns regarding “The Secret” back in 2006. I spoke at length to anyone who would listen about what a danger this mindset is. Green and I presented our concerns at a conference and caused quite a bit of consternation among attendees.

To friends who argued with me back then, I am here to say a very sorrowful “I told you so.” This was my very concern: someone practicing these teachings who craved power, coupled with greed and a lack of regard for others. What damage could they do? We are finding that out right now, and so far the damage is pretty catastrophic.

Is the remedy to practice the secret against Trump and his goals for our country? Nope. Read my paragraphs above.

The remedy is luckily not only the way to fix our problems. It also carries the seed of genuine well being. Practice radical caring and kindness. Care for ourselves by all means, but make our acts of self care acts of divine selfishness (this is a term I coined that means self care for the benefit of yourself and everyone else too). We fill our own cup so we can be present and fill everyone around us. Love with compassion for yourself and all others, including Trump and his followers.

Love and compassion are not excuses to act like a doormat. I do not suggest blindly accepting and allowing bad behavior or ignoring actions that do harm. Absolutely not! We do not love the bad behavior or actions of ourselves or other people. That would be silly and destructive. This type of love is not personal. Nor is it dependent on outer circumstance. This aspiration of loving kindness is genuinely wishing wellbeing for everyone we encounter.

There is logic in this approach. People who are genuinely happy (called eudaemonia), are resting in a state of ease and wellbeing not dependent on outer circumstances. Our aspiration of loving kindness for ourselves first and then for others is to find this state. People who are genuinely happy don’t harm others because they are content. When we are genuinely content, it naturally follows that our actions become more wise and less harmful.

Why would we not wish this for every single person we encounter?

As we take action to right this ship of a world that has tilted so terribly wrong, do so with love. Love the sad broken people acting with ignorance and greed. Love them, even as we cast ballots and call for accountability. Do all we can to educate, inform and encourage people to act in ways that help us all.

When we stumble, let others help us too. Through that intention and action, we will come to find that genuine well being comes from a foundation of interconnection, compassion and care for all beings.

To me, that is the real secret.

Laura Mead is a retired bodywork therapist, meditation teacher, artist and sometimes assistant documentary filmmaker. Through its opinion section, Kansas Reflector works to amplify the voices of people who are affected by public policies or excluded from public debate. Find information, including how to submit your own commentary, here.